According to Andreas Capellanus, the 12th-century French author of 'De Amore,' there are twelve chief rules to courtly love. The somewhat cynical tone to Capellanus's work suggests that his work be taken with a grain of salt, but there is also a good deal of valid information to be gained from reading his ideas. The first chief rule of courtly love is as follows: thou shalt avoid avarice like the deadly pestilence and shalt embrace its opposite. In layman's terms: it's better to give than to receive.
This is good advice whether it's related to one's romantic relationship or any of the other relationships in his life. Odds are, if someone is a kind and generous person, they will be more likely to draw people toward them. It's not necessarily about giving out gifts to every stranger that he meets, but the simple act of kindness will endear people to him in a way that won't happen if he were to make demands without reciprocity.
In a romantic setting, especially in Western society, there is an unspoken expectation that the man will pay for the outing; however, it's also nice when a woman is willing to pay for an outing every now and again. A good example can be found in Josh's relationship with his fiancée, Julia; they spend many evenings out, going to movies, going to dinner, and it's normal for Josh to be the one paying for everything. He claims that this doesn't bother him, though it's fairly clear that it does, but it's an issue that he kept mostly to himself until the two of them were at a coffee shop. He placed his order, then turned to Julia and indicated that she should place hers, which she did. The barista then gave them the total, and, while Josh had every intention of paying, he had not expected Julia to take a step back. That really just says "this is on you," which is not the message that one wants to send.
Naturally, he confronted her about it, and her main response was "I pay for stuff!" and, while he disagreed with her on that point, he simply said "it's not about what you have paid for, or what you will pay for. It's about the willingness to pay for it. There shouldn't be an expectation that it's not on you," which is a sentiment that I think most people, regardless of gender, might agree with. As a rule-of-thumb, one should always be prepared to pay for everything, but should never be expected to. That's not to say that Julia should have started paying for everything, but she should have been willing to say "this one's on me," or "would you like me to get it?"
The situation grew somewhat awkward, since they were having this minor argument in my presence, and Julia took it to the next level by claiming that he, too, could be quite selfish. The reason, she claimed, that she rarely bothered to pay for meals and movies was that he was unwilling to reciprocate orally. "What are you talking about?" Josh asked, turning red. "I go down on you all the time, but when have you ever...?" this is when I excused myself from the situation, as it's a case of too much information, and I didn't need to know about it. And now it's on the internet.
Since having that conversation, the two of them were able to manage their conflict by collaborating to be more conscious of their actions; the agreement they came to was that they would each pay every second time, no matter the situation. Sometimes one will only be paying ten dollars for drinks while the other is paying fifty dollars for their meals, but it's not about money, it's about reciprocity. I have no idea if they've started switching off responsibilities in the bedroom, though I imagine Julia's likely to bring it up during an uncomfortable conversation in the future.
Removing romance from the situation, one can imagine Ebenezer Scrooge, a man of wealth, who hoarded his fortune in a constant effort to make more money and feed his greed until his death. As a greedy man, Scrooge was miserable, friendless, and openly hated for his cruelty. When Scrooge was shown the error of his ways, he began to give back to the community and spend his fortune on luxuries for both himself and his acquaintances. Through his acts of kindness, Scrooge found a new meaning in his life, and grew to become a much happier man through the act of giving.
People are drawn to those who are giving, not because the people themselves are greedy, but because the people wish to be more like those who are giving. One is less likely to feel taken advantage of by the man that constantly gives than they will by the man who constantly takes. As people are drawn to givers, they are equally repulsed by takers; if there is a friend that he can describe as a "leech," that is likely the friend whose phone calls he will avoid.
In a lover we don't seek out those who would take advantage of us, we instead look for those who are generous of spirit and will help us to better ourselves. We also don't want to be the greedy one in a relationship, as that will likely lead to dying alone. An excess of greediness in a relationship can only lead to abuse, mild or severe.
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