Follow the Leader

At one point in my life, I was a good student. By no means was I a genius, but I was always willing to do my homework and I never handed in anything late. I also never skipped school, never skipped class, and was even occasionally considered the teacher's pet. This wavered slightly during the fourth grade, through a game of telephone, but it wasn't until the ninth grade that I had any real taste of defiance.

Unsolicited Advice 3

Trolling through the dating section of Yahoo!Answers, I've compiled a few questions in need of attention that I think I might try my hand at answering. Granted, my advice is likely to be horrible, but I think it's unlikely that the authors of these questions will read this blog anyway. And if they do, and happen to take my advice...they are more than welcome to pen a guest entry to let me know just how horribly I screwed them over.

Musical Chairs

Sometimes, amongst a group of people, I can grow to become super popular. Usually, this leads to my eventual rise to tyranny and inevitable fall from grace where, after a period of being left on the fringes of my friends, I come back, humbled, as their formerly martyred friend. This is pretty much the story with every group of people I've ever been in, whether it was in elementary school, middle school, high school, college, or my early adulthood's workplace. But this story takes place before my first fall from grace, before I knew how bad I could make things for myself...again and again and again.

Entrapment

I'm not one that ever really takes notice when a girl likes me. This is, in part, because it happens so rarely that I'm never quite prepared for it. Also, I'm never sure how to deal with it when the issue does arise. Actually, and more to the point, it's almost always the women that I have almost no interest in that are interested in me, which is a shame for everyone involved. I've been told that I might have set my standards a little too high, which could very possibly be true, but, then again, do I really want to be the kind of guy that just settles for anyone?

Scott Pilgrim Versus the World

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Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera), a typical Canadian twenty-something, battles against the League of Evil Exes in order to win the heart of Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). Meanwhile, Knives Chau (Ellen Wong), Scott's ex-girlfriend, plots to win back her first love through any means possible.

SURPRISE! (Party)

I hate the idea of parties, but I usually find myself enjoying them. Other people's parties, that is. My own, I'm just really not into, so it really says something when I'm willing to throw a party in my own space. It's not that I don't enjoy the party planning aspect of it, or spending time with the people I love, it's that I really don't like people getting up in my stuff and judging who I am outside of the real world. Somehow I thought it would be a good idea to throw a surprise party for one of the women in my life.

Festival of Fun

In my hometown, there was an annual fair that happened during the fall, and if you went on the first day and bought a bracelet, you didn't have to pay to get on the rides. Naturally, this made the first night the busiest night, and you were bound to run into everyone you knew at school during that night because nobody wanted to be known as the kid that "missed out."

Chivalry: Generosity

According to Scott Farrell, generosity is a large part of what makes a knight, or what contributes to making one chivalrous in today's society. It isn't about donating all worldly possessions to charity or buying things for those who have less in life. Generosity can include the sharing of attention, time, knowledge, and sometimes the only thing you need to share is a smile. The goal of generosity shouldn't be to feel better about yourself, that just seems like a good way to feed your smugness; the true aim of generosity is the creation of a strong sense of community, giving of one's self to encourage others to do the same.

Painted Windows

There are a lot of times that the women in my life can force me to do things that I don't want to do, and there are other times that I'm just completely unwilling to give in to their whims. This event was a result of...neither of those things. Instead, this was a weekend brought on by spite. Normally, when I find myself suffering from an absolute hatred of someone, I do everything in my power to stay away from said person...until they push me too far, after which I spend all of my waking hours ensuring that their life is as terrible as mine. Because I'm not at all a bad person or anything.

STOP! Hugger-Time!

I don't know what it is about me that makes people, usually my mother, want to hug me. I'm very open about my disdain for physical contact with people, so why there are strangers that just wander up to me and want to wrap their arms around me I have no idea. I think there's some cosmic joke being played on me, and I really don't think it's as funny as the rest of the universe appears to. I'm not even that approachable a person, so these people need to step off already.

Rule 03: Mind Your Business

"Thou shalt not knowingly strive to break up a correct love affair that someone else is engaged in," the third chief rule in love according to Andreas Capellanus, is as relevant today as it ever was. One should never try to break up someone else's relationship for any reason, because, really, it's none of your damn business what other people do. Now, this rule really only applies to "correct love affairs," ie. healthy relationships that work for both parties. If you find that someone you love is trapped in an abusive relationship, then you should probably take action.

I Wanna Dance With Somebody

I don't enjoy dancing. It's just...awkward and unpleasant and I'm not good at it and I don't want to do it and you can't make me. I'm too self-conscious for that kind of activity, and I don't think dancing with me has ever ended well for anyone. My self-consciousness wasn't always such a hindrance, as I do recall a few times that I danced publicly without a care in the world.

How Soon is Too Soon?

There's a certain mourning period that must be respected when someone's relationship has broken off. The length of time it takes for someone to get over their failed romance is variable depending on a myriad of factors: the length of the relationship, how the relationship was ended, who broke up with whom, and so forth. The feelings of the people that discarded their relationship have to be taken into account by their social circle, as some topics, though seemingly harmless in nature, might trigger an unexpected emotional reaction, and they may have a heightened sensitivity to how their feelings are dealt with by their friends. So I have to ask: how soon is too soon to ask out a girl that just broke up with her boyfriend?

Guest: Holy Water

In the earlier days of high school, I would get off the first bus at another high school and part ways with my friends to make the transfer to my second bus. This connection was about an hour long wait; sun, rain, or snow. It was an unfortunate necessity, as I lived very far out of town.

Screw Friends, I'mma Get Some!

I think we've all been in a situation where one of our close friends becomes involved in a romantic relationship, and, seemingly overnight, we find ourselves asking why they stopped calling. There's a balance that has to be made between your friendships and your romances that a lot of people just don't seem able to make, but there's never a time that you should choose one over the other. Remember: it's never appropriate to abandon a friend for a date.

Hung Up on You

I have a long history of talking on the phone for inappropriate amounts of time. It's not that I would ever pick up the phone and make the call myself, because interaction over the phone just doesn't appeal to me, but when a girl gets me talking on the phone, she's unlikely ever to get me to shut up. This became an issue for my parents when I entered high school, because the battery in their phone was often dead due to my extended conversations. And this is the story of when that conversation went on just long enough to force my parents to get me my own phone line.

Before Sunrise

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It's love at first sight when Jesse (Ethan Hawke) spots Céline (Julie Delpy) on a train from Budapest to Vienna. The pair disembark the train and wander the city until the sun comes up, conversing about everything they're afraid to say to anyone else. It's a one-night love story ending in a promise unlikely to be kept, and it leaves you jealous that the story's not your own.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

I get really frustrated when people don't say what they mean. It shouldn't be so hard for people to just be upfront about what they want, but, as a writer, I understand the need to be creative through word use. A lot of the time I'll re-write a sentence thinking "well, this is to the point...but it could sound so much more EXOTIC and EXCITING! I MUST EMBELLISH THE TRUTH!" But there's a fine line between embellishment and lying, so it might be best to just refrain from saying what you don't mean.

Hold My Hand

Jill was an extremely independent person by nature, and asking anyone for help was always her last resort. When she came to me asking for support, I didn't hesitate to say yes, and, even though I still don't quite understand why she was so scared to go through with it, I was there for her when she felt she needed someone. In all honesty, I feel slightly honoured that I was the one she chose to see her at her most helpless.