To-Do: Look Less Homeless

Let's be honest, when you're preparing yourself for a night out, especially when you're meeting someone special, you want to look your best. And, being even more honest, you want your date to look their best. But something that I've noticed in my day to day life is that...well, a lot of the time, us dudes just aren't putting in as much effort as our women might like. There are certain things that I never used to put much thought into, but, since working in the health and beauty section of a department store, with a close partnership to the cosmetics department, I've picked up a few things.

Riding in Car With Girl

In my college writing class, Grace and I had become very good friends. We were also very flirty, and, though it was entertaining, it seemed to be leading us nowhere. The reason we were at a stand-still is that we were both equally shy and equally awkward. Outside of our midnight pizza, we hadn't really seen each other out of school for a while, and, since the school year was about to end for the summer, we thought it would be best to get the ball rolling.

Youthful Delusions

Looking back on my childhood, I would describe myself, in those years, as socially-retarded. Not only was I pale and unathletic, which I still am, but I had glasses the size binoculars and a mane of long red hair that made me look somewhat akin to Pippy Longstocking. This was not a good look for any prepubescent boy, but at the time I thought that I was an amazing catch. My delusion was to the point where I would stop to check my reflection in the mirror and think "damn, I look good!"

To-Don't: Be Negative

You know how you can get really excited about something, and there's always that one person that you want to talk to about it, but for whatever reason you need to hold off on talking to them? And then, by the time you actually get the chance to talk to them about it, you've built it up in your mind, and maybe fantasized about what their reactions will be and how they'll feel about it? And once you actually start off the conversation, like, "so...have you heard about [the thing I'm really excited about]?" only to have them cut you off with something along the lines of "Yes! I HATE that! It's so stupid!" If you do know what I'm talking about, then you should know not to be such a Negative-Norbert.

The Caregiver: Giver of Care

My first job, outside of the two days I spent as a busboy, was at a comic book store, where most desirable women dared not venture. The women who did happen to frequent the store were somewhat...overly affectionate, in what I assume was an attempt to counteract their undesirability.

False Prophets

My years spent in middle school were during the peak of my awkward phase, which I am only now gracefully exiting...so I've led myself to believe. For the years leading up to middle school my group of friends had been predominantly male, and it was during grade eight that I started making a few female friends again. It was also during middle school that I learned that being friends with girls, especially during puberty, can be...confusing.

Guest: International Relations

Hi there! Lundy decided to break up your regular programming and bring in... a guest-blogger! Ta-dah! My name is Natalie and I live in Bhutan. If you want to know anymore, then all you've gotta do is keep reading.

Undecided...on Everything

Somehow I had been convinced to go on a blind date, and, horrible though it soon became, I had also managed to be convinced that I owed this girl a second date. The second date, I decided would be lunch rather than dinner, and I would also try to make sure we were as far from the bar as possible. I briefly considered telling the waitress that Mandy was an alcoholic, should the need arise.

Written in the Stars

In my first year of university (read: community college) I didn't make a lot of friends. Which is actually also true of my other two years of university (read: community college). My inability to meet and connect with people was one of the driving factors in my decision to take some time away from higher learning, but this is the story about a girl who came very close to changing my mind.

Sixteen Candles

The budding love story of Samantha Baker (Molly Ringwald) and Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling) cannot be properly told without mentioning the intertwining romance of Caroline Mulford (Haviland Morris) and Ted (Anthony Michael Hall). Also worth mentioning are the romance between Jake and Caroline, and the numerous passes that Ted makes toward Sam.

Make-Out Fake-Out

There's a certain level of respect that I feel every person living on this earth is due. There are occasions where I feel that certain people really need to earn my respect, but upon first meeting someone I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and treat them in a wholly pleasant manner. Then there are people who treat you with such a total disregard for your own feelings that I worry they might have been raised in a barn (apologies to all barn-dwellers: I have never met a rude lamb).

There's No Honeymoon Phase

'Twas a bright and sunny day,

her golden locks bounced into view.

I searched for courage to say,

in hopes reply would be "I do."

I approached her dear mother,

with my request less than modest,

hoping there was no other,

lest my heart be torn from my chest.

Astrid Sidaway-Wolf: a woman so nice, they surnamed her twice. Thrice if you add on my own, as you will, because this is the story of when she and I got married (and later divorced).

To-Do: Abandon Comfort Zones

Part of the human experience is the constant effort to better one's self. If you're anything like I am, then you're somewhat dependent on the involvement of others in your own betterment. Not because we're completely incapable of doing it ourselves, but because we just need that final push to do something that we might otherwise not have the nerve to follow through on.

Getting Lucky

Often times, when confronted with a sloppy drunk woman, I will do my damndest to find someone else for her to harass so I can go about my own business in the land of the coherent. Unfortunately, I work in retail, and, drunk or not, a customer is a customer. If you're really lucky, and you're working with someone you hate, passing the drunk customer off on them is one of the most satisfying, and hilarious, events of your day. If you're as unlucky as I am, you're trapped at the customer service desk, with no one around to bail you out of your situation. This is a story about when I got Lucky.

An Opportunity Missed

Every now and then, you really just...connect with someone. From the moment you first meet them, first lock eyes, there's just a spark between the two of you that makes you speechless. This is the story of that girl, and the day she gave me a chance to catch her. This is also the story of the day she got away.

To-Don't: Talk & Text

I don't understand why some people think that it's perfectly acceptable to ignore your date so you can talk or text on your cellphone. I mean, yes, sometimes, during a date, your phone goes off, and sometimes it is indeed an emergency that you need to take care of. In case it's not an emergency, you need to either hang up the phone, or call off the date.

Drinking Yourself Blind Date

A good portion of my friends are getting married, and the rest are all in serious relationships. At the last wedding I went to, it was decided not to throw the garter...because it was faster just to hand it to me. Naturally, my friends decided it was time to set me up on a blind date.

Riding the Bus with my Fiancée

Sometimes my determination to continued politeness is my undoing. It's not that I'm never overtly rude to anyone, it's just that, especially among strangers, I have this astonishing need to have people love me. Does that sound desperate?