The Mood Killer

I really enjoy being social with people, but I really hate leaving my house. You would think that this would mean I would put more effort into being a good host, so that people would constantly be coming by to visit me, but I also hate having people up in my space. One would think that my solution would be some sort of internet-related video chatting party, but...I find that impersonal, and I find instant messaging systems somewhat frustrating. There are the days, that I manage to force myself to throw parties, though, like New Year's Eve.

An Apple a Day

They say that when a boy is being mean to a girl, it's because he likes her. I don't think that this is necessarily true in all cases, but I can understand some people confusing teasing for flirting when they're trying to gain the affections of someone in particular. This would lead me to believe that the same is true in some cases of girls teasing boys.

Guest: The New Years March

So, I asked to write a guest blog and now here I am!

My name is Dee and I'm a 25 year old female. I am of average height, with an average build, with more then average breasts. I have an expressive face, often what I'm feeling emotionally is as plain as day. Personality wise... I'm honest, direct and motherly.

I am unfamiliar with writing anything more then point form notations. So, please forgive me if it feels a little jumpy or disconnected.

Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson

Parts of this story had to be filled in by my mother, because it all happened so long ago that I don't remember all the details, but it would seem that I've always had a thing for older women, starting with my mother's friend Karen. She was also the first blonde that I fell in love with, but I don't think that's important to the story.

Spreading Holiday Jeer

I have never been good at choosing gifts for people, and it's especially noticeable when they're people that I'm close with. This was never really an issue when I was a child, because no one expects children to give exceptional presents, but as soon as I hit my teens there was some sort of understanding that I had to up my game.

The Holiday

The Holiday features the related (though, fortunately, untangled) romances of Amanda Woods (Cameron Diaz) and Graham Simpkins (Jude Law) as well as Iris Simpkins (Kate Winslet) and Miles Dumont (Jack Black). Both romances are unlikely, due to the strange situation presented, but somehow...believable and satisfying.

Paranoid Pair

In life, you come across a lot of people that you never want to see repeatedly. Naturally, these are the people that you run into most, usually at the most inopportune moments. These are also the people that are so unaware of their own horror that they're unable to just let you walk away, and trap you into insanely long, drawn-out conversations that you spend a lot of energy trying to escape from. They probably think that those conversations are really deep and leave them feeling like the two of you have become the best of friends.

Surprise Visit

When you're really into someone, and you're as incapable as I am when it comes to romance, it's inevitable that you'll eventually screw up. You end up spending a lot of time thinking about all of the things that you could have done better, all of the things you could have avoided, and all of the things that you would do if you were given a second chance. When that second chance comes as a surprise, you're left with only your wits.

To-Do: Be on Time

No matter what the situation is, I always try to be on time for it. Usually, I will try to be a little bit early, which I kind of hate, because it means waiting around for a bit before you can actually start whatever you had planned, but at least it means you won't put anyone else behind schedule. I just don't understand people that can't keep a schedule.

Rumor Has It

Long before I was pulled out of school for two months because I had mono, and before I rejected her advances when she threw herself at me, Liz and I were the talk of the school. Well, we were the talk of the graduating class for our first year of high school, but, unfortunately, neither of us knew until it was too late.

The Cutest Couple

My group of friends in high school were varied, both in personality type and upbringing, and, through the years, our numbers fluctuated from as low as eight to as high as thirty, so we were never short of entertainment. Like any large group, we didn't always get along, but, when it was something really important, we would all come together. And what's more important than an award recognizing the cutest couple?

To-Don't: Have a Bad Walk

This subject was requested by Silva, one of my friends and co-workers, in regards to the incapability of the men in her life to walk properly. Remember, boys: the sidewalk isn't designed for your fancy-walking, so step in line with your ladies to avoid any undue embarrassment.

Such Good Friends

A large part of dating someone is getting to know your partner's circle of friends. Trying to gain the approval of the friends is sometimes the hardest part of the chase, made all the more difficult when the object of your interest has no idea you want to date her. This isn't a story about the girl whose attention I was trying to win, it's a story about one of her friends.

The Germophobe Defense

To say that I was awkward in high school would be a severe understatement. I was the king of the inelegant moment. If there was a wrong thing to say, it would be me that said it, and if there was a wrong thing to do, you could count on me to have done it twice already. What did I do when one of my friends decided she wanted more and leaned in for the kiss? I scampered away, of course. As so blunderingly one does.

Guest: Turn-Off of the Day

I was asking Benevolent Blog-Master Lundy what I should write about for my next blog. He gave me a few suggestions, one of which was something to the effect of "hobbies that are a turn-off for you." That one I thought was interesting, because outside of baby seal clubbing, I couldn't really imagine any hobbies that a prospective love-interest would have that would really put me off. Then it hit me what *does* turn me off: having no hobbies.

Pre-Emptive Strike

I find that, a lot of the time, I'm unconsciously flirting with people. Whether they're my friend, or my waitress, odds are I'm just being a little bit playful with them. In high school, this seemed to confuse a lot of people. It would either make them think that I was really into them when I wasn't, and it would often make observers think that I was dating someone that I wasn't. It would sometimes make it difficult when I was actually trying to flirt, because it had become so expected that people would think I was just playing.

What's the Hint?

There are a lot of times in my life where I just don't get the hint. If someone cancels a date with me, then I would probably take that as a hint, but not when they reschedule it. What I should have assumed was that she didn't want to see me on the day of the cancelled date, though. That probably would have been clear to anyone else, right?

While You Were Sleeping

This is the love story of Lucy (Sandra Bullock) and Peter (Peter Gallagher). It's also the love story of Lucy and Jack (Bill Pullman), Peter's brother. Actually, it's the love story of Lucy and Peter's entire family. Oh, and Ashley (Ally Walker) is thrown into the mix as Peter's actual fiancée.

Explain Yourself

Entering into high school was a big step for me, in part because I was in the last leg of lower education, but mostly because I was transferring to a new school where I didn't know anyone. I ended up falling into quite a large group of people, became good friends with some of them, bitter enemies of others, and either ignored by, or romantically entangled with, everyone else.

Rainy Days

I've always been really fond of the rain. I'm not quite sure what it is, maybe it's just that I'm too fair-skinned to truly enjoy the sunshine, or that I don't have enough body fat to truly enjoy the snow, but rain has always been my favourite. I never knew anyone who liked walking in the rain as much as I did, at least not until I met Kaya.

To-Do: Look Less Homeless

Let's be honest, when you're preparing yourself for a night out, especially when you're meeting someone special, you want to look your best. And, being even more honest, you want your date to look their best. But something that I've noticed in my day to day life is that...well, a lot of the time, us dudes just aren't putting in as much effort as our women might like. There are certain things that I never used to put much thought into, but, since working in the health and beauty section of a department store, with a close partnership to the cosmetics department, I've picked up a few things.

Riding in Car With Girl

In my college writing class, Grace and I had become very good friends. We were also very flirty, and, though it was entertaining, it seemed to be leading us nowhere. The reason we were at a stand-still is that we were both equally shy and equally awkward. Outside of our midnight pizza, we hadn't really seen each other out of school for a while, and, since the school year was about to end for the summer, we thought it would be best to get the ball rolling.

Youthful Delusions

Looking back on my childhood, I would describe myself, in those years, as socially-retarded. Not only was I pale and unathletic, which I still am, but I had glasses the size binoculars and a mane of long red hair that made me look somewhat akin to Pippy Longstocking. This was not a good look for any prepubescent boy, but at the time I thought that I was an amazing catch. My delusion was to the point where I would stop to check my reflection in the mirror and think "damn, I look good!"

To-Don't: Be Negative

You know how you can get really excited about something, and there's always that one person that you want to talk to about it, but for whatever reason you need to hold off on talking to them? And then, by the time you actually get the chance to talk to them about it, you've built it up in your mind, and maybe fantasized about what their reactions will be and how they'll feel about it? And once you actually start off the conversation, like, "so...have you heard about [the thing I'm really excited about]?" only to have them cut you off with something along the lines of "Yes! I HATE that! It's so stupid!" If you do know what I'm talking about, then you should know not to be such a Negative-Norbert.

The Caregiver: Giver of Care

My first job, outside of the two days I spent as a busboy, was at a comic book store, where most desirable women dared not venture. The women who did happen to frequent the store were somewhat...overly affectionate, in what I assume was an attempt to counteract their undesirability.

False Prophets

My years spent in middle school were during the peak of my awkward phase, which I am only now gracefully exiting...so I've led myself to believe. For the years leading up to middle school my group of friends had been predominantly male, and it was during grade eight that I started making a few female friends again. It was also during middle school that I learned that being friends with girls, especially during puberty, can be...confusing.

Guest: International Relations

Hi there! Lundy decided to break up your regular programming and bring in... a guest-blogger! Ta-dah! My name is Natalie and I live in Bhutan. If you want to know anymore, then all you've gotta do is keep reading.

Undecided...on Everything

Somehow I had been convinced to go on a blind date, and, horrible though it soon became, I had also managed to be convinced that I owed this girl a second date. The second date, I decided would be lunch rather than dinner, and I would also try to make sure we were as far from the bar as possible. I briefly considered telling the waitress that Mandy was an alcoholic, should the need arise.

Written in the Stars

In my first year of university (read: community college) I didn't make a lot of friends. Which is actually also true of my other two years of university (read: community college). My inability to meet and connect with people was one of the driving factors in my decision to take some time away from higher learning, but this is the story about a girl who came very close to changing my mind.

Sixteen Candles

The budding love story of Samantha Baker (Molly Ringwald) and Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling) cannot be properly told without mentioning the intertwining romance of Caroline Mulford (Haviland Morris) and Ted (Anthony Michael Hall). Also worth mentioning are the romance between Jake and Caroline, and the numerous passes that Ted makes toward Sam.

Make-Out Fake-Out

There's a certain level of respect that I feel every person living on this earth is due. There are occasions where I feel that certain people really need to earn my respect, but upon first meeting someone I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and treat them in a wholly pleasant manner. Then there are people who treat you with such a total disregard for your own feelings that I worry they might have been raised in a barn (apologies to all barn-dwellers: I have never met a rude lamb).

There's No Honeymoon Phase

'Twas a bright and sunny day,

her golden locks bounced into view.

I searched for courage to say,

in hopes reply would be "I do."

I approached her dear mother,

with my request less than modest,

hoping there was no other,

lest my heart be torn from my chest.

Astrid Sidaway-Wolf: a woman so nice, they surnamed her twice. Thrice if you add on my own, as you will, because this is the story of when she and I got married (and later divorced).

To-Do: Abandon Comfort Zones

Part of the human experience is the constant effort to better one's self. If you're anything like I am, then you're somewhat dependent on the involvement of others in your own betterment. Not because we're completely incapable of doing it ourselves, but because we just need that final push to do something that we might otherwise not have the nerve to follow through on.

Getting Lucky

Often times, when confronted with a sloppy drunk woman, I will do my damndest to find someone else for her to harass so I can go about my own business in the land of the coherent. Unfortunately, I work in retail, and, drunk or not, a customer is a customer. If you're really lucky, and you're working with someone you hate, passing the drunk customer off on them is one of the most satisfying, and hilarious, events of your day. If you're as unlucky as I am, you're trapped at the customer service desk, with no one around to bail you out of your situation. This is a story about when I got Lucky.

An Opportunity Missed

Every now and then, you really just...connect with someone. From the moment you first meet them, first lock eyes, there's just a spark between the two of you that makes you speechless. This is the story of that girl, and the day she gave me a chance to catch her. This is also the story of the day she got away.

To-Don't: Talk & Text

I don't understand why some people think that it's perfectly acceptable to ignore your date so you can talk or text on your cellphone. I mean, yes, sometimes, during a date, your phone goes off, and sometimes it is indeed an emergency that you need to take care of. In case it's not an emergency, you need to either hang up the phone, or call off the date.

Drinking Yourself Blind Date

A good portion of my friends are getting married, and the rest are all in serious relationships. At the last wedding I went to, it was decided not to throw the garter...because it was faster just to hand it to me. Naturally, my friends decided it was time to set me up on a blind date.

Riding the Bus with my Fiancée

Sometimes my determination to continued politeness is my undoing. It's not that I'm never overtly rude to anyone, it's just that, especially among strangers, I have this astonishing need to have people love me. Does that sound desperate?