Shoulder to Cry On

I don't know what it is about me that makes people treat me like their diary, but despite my stoicism and rampant sarcasm, people seem to open up to me. It's possible that they think I'm internally judging them (which is rarely the case) and they're simply attempting to humanize themselves in my eyes in an effort to gain my approval. Whatever it is, I usually can't make people shut up, so I'm often the first person that everyone comes to when they need to vent or when they have something they need to get off their chest and don't feel comfortable bringing to anyone else. And sometimes it's uncomfortable.

Dopplebänger

It's not often that I'm the one being pursued, but every now and then there will appear in my life a woman so insanely taken with my charms that she just can't help but throw herself at me. This creates a kind of...dissonance for me, because, while I prefer to be the one being chased (and, really, who doesn't?), I can't bring myself to actually date anyone that would demean themselves the way that these women do while trying to court me. It's a matter of subtlety, I suppose, or maybe the women that find themselves attracted to me are just insane. Actually, the insanity would explain the attraction, so I think we've found our answer.

Snowed Out

In my grade eleven year, there was a surprise snow storm in the middle of February, and not one of us was prepared for it. The morning had started out cold, and it looked as though it were about to rain, but there was no sign of snow. By the time our classes started that morning, the snow had started, and it didn't let up until later that night. Naturally, the school bus drivers spent the day preparing themselves to get to the schools in the afternoon to drive the students home...all of the drivers except for ours.

Celebrating VD

Every year my friend Rachel would set up some sort of gathering so that we would all come together and celebrate Valentine's Day. I think that it started out as an anti-Valentine's dinner, for those of us that were single, but, as the years drew on, everyone started coupling up, and the 'anti' was dropped from the title. As the couples grew ever-more gropey, I decided that it would be best to shorten the title to VD, as it seemed apt. And then those damn scientists went and changed the D to an I, so it doesn't make sense anymore, but, at the time, there was still VD. This has gone off on a tangent, hasn't it?

Still Doing it Wrong

The last time that Ophelia tried to set up a double-dating situation with dreams of she and I falling for one another, it didn't really pan out in my favour. This was a few years after the fact, and, this time, it was me that was setting things up between us. But, considering who I am...it should have been obvious that the past would somehow repeat itself.

Anything For a Blonde

I have proven myself to be a very obstinate person, to the point that, even after someone's convinced me that I'm wrong or that I should participate in whatever they've been trying to get me into, I will continue on with my refusal out of my sheer unwillingness to admit that I might not have been completely right. But now matter how pig-headed I can be, there's always one thing that's able to break through my idiocy and make me give in: a magnificent mane of blonde hair.

Double-Dating: Doing it Wrong

When you date as many insane women as I do, you develop an ability to recognize the moment within your relationship that you realize she's a crazy person. Part of what makes my life so violently interesting is that I tend to continue dating these people long after I've noticed how bonkers they truly are. No one was quite as crazy as Ophelia, not even the girl responsible for the seagull incident.