I Wanna Dance With Somebody

I don't enjoy dancing. It's just...awkward and unpleasant and I'm not good at it and I don't want to do it and you can't make me. I'm too self-conscious for that kind of activity, and I don't think dancing with me has ever ended well for anyone. My self-consciousness wasn't always such a hindrance, as I do recall a few times that I danced publicly without a care in the world.

Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson

Parts of this story had to be filled in by my mother, because it all happened so long ago that I don't remember all the details, but it would seem that I've always had a thing for older women, starting with my mother's friend Karen. She was also the first blonde that I fell in love with, but I don't think that's important to the story.