"Thou shalt not knowingly strive to break up a correct love affair that someone else is engaged in," the third chief rule in love according to Andreas Capellanus, is as relevant today as it ever was. One should never try to break up someone else's relationship for any reason, because, really, it's none of your damn business what other people do. Now, this rule really only applies to "correct love affairs," ie. healthy relationships that work for both parties. If you find that someone you love is trapped in an abusive relationship, then you should probably take action.
There's a reason that the term "off the market" is applied to those in steady relationships, and it should be a hint to all outsiders that, should they attempt to intervene in said relationship, they will be crossing a line. While cheating spouses and love triangles can make for scintillating entertainment in film and television, in reality they are a far more dramatically-draining experience.
I have never personally attempted to destroy someone else's relationship, though, admittedly, there were times that I felt as though some of my friends were making mistakes in their choice of partners. The fact is that, unless you're somehow a part of whatever romantic pairing you take offense to, you have no right to try to bring about its destruction.
It's dangerous to even voice your opinion of dissent about a friends relationship, as I have been known to do, as that will simply lead to conflict between you and your friend. For example: I have a tendency to...dislike most, if not all of, Dee's boyfriends. One can assume that this is, in part, due to jealousy over the fact that I had such strong feelings for her for a long time, but it should also be noted that, so far, at least fifty percent of her boyfriends have been assholes.
The conversations that Dee and I would have regarding her boyfriends, and her high school sweetheart in particular, would usually start with her asking why he and I couldn't get along. Truth be told, he tormented me in high school and, when the subject of bullying comes up, it's his face that I imagine. He was the Chris Hargensen to my Carrie White, though he never managed to dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head during prom...I'm sure he would have had he noticed me grinding with his girlfriend on the dance floor, but he was fortunately absent for that portion of the evening...
But I digress, the conversation was something like this:
Dee: Why can't you two just get along? (usually said in a drawn-out whine)
Me: Because he's an ASS! (usually said with emphatic hand-gesturing)
Dee: ...but I LOVE him! (usually said in a mixture of desperation and sadness)
Me: ... (usually rolling my eyes and sighing)
Despite my feelings toward her boyfriends, I still had no right to say anything to end things between them, but that never stopped me from expressing my dissent.
To try to break someone up for your own gain, in hopes that you'll be able to date one half of that couple, would only lead to starting a new relationship based on deceit. If you start a relationship as the other man, then you're already doing things wrong. Had I attempted to break Dee away from her boyfriend out of a desire to date her myself, our relationship would have been built on a foundation of bitterness and lies, and that doesn't really bode well for the future. Had I tried to break her up from a man she loved out of my own hatred for him, I wouldn't have been being a very good friend.
It's one of those "if you have nothing nice to say..." moments.
In short, one just needs to mind his own business and stop offering up opinions when no one has asked for them. We may not always like the people that our friends and family choose to spend their time with, but it's not up to us.
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