Shoulder to Cry On

I don't know what it is about me that makes people treat me like their diary, but despite my stoicism and rampant sarcasm, people seem to open up to me. It's possible that they think I'm internally judging them (which is rarely the case) and they're simply attempting to humanize themselves in my eyes in an effort to gain my approval. Whatever it is, I usually can't make people shut up, so I'm often the first person that everyone comes to when they need to vent or when they have something they need to get off their chest and don't feel comfortable bringing to anyone else. And sometimes it's uncomfortable.

Dopplebänger

It's not often that I'm the one being pursued, but every now and then there will appear in my life a woman so insanely taken with my charms that she just can't help but throw herself at me. This creates a kind of...dissonance for me, because, while I prefer to be the one being chased (and, really, who doesn't?), I can't bring myself to actually date anyone that would demean themselves the way that these women do while trying to court me. It's a matter of subtlety, I suppose, or maybe the women that find themselves attracted to me are just insane. Actually, the insanity would explain the attraction, so I think we've found our answer.

Follow the Leader

At one point in my life, I was a good student. By no means was I a genius, but I was always willing to do my homework and I never handed in anything late. I also never skipped school, never skipped class, and was even occasionally considered the teacher's pet. This wavered slightly during the fourth grade, through a game of telephone, but it wasn't until the ninth grade that I had any real taste of defiance.

Unsolicited Advice 3

Trolling through the dating section of Yahoo!Answers, I've compiled a few questions in need of attention that I think I might try my hand at answering. Granted, my advice is likely to be horrible, but I think it's unlikely that the authors of these questions will read this blog anyway. And if they do, and happen to take my advice...they are more than welcome to pen a guest entry to let me know just how horribly I screwed them over.

Musical Chairs

Sometimes, amongst a group of people, I can grow to become super popular. Usually, this leads to my eventual rise to tyranny and inevitable fall from grace where, after a period of being left on the fringes of my friends, I come back, humbled, as their formerly martyred friend. This is pretty much the story with every group of people I've ever been in, whether it was in elementary school, middle school, high school, college, or my early adulthood's workplace. But this story takes place before my first fall from grace, before I knew how bad I could make things for myself...again and again and again.

Entrapment

I'm not one that ever really takes notice when a girl likes me. This is, in part, because it happens so rarely that I'm never quite prepared for it. Also, I'm never sure how to deal with it when the issue does arise. Actually, and more to the point, it's almost always the women that I have almost no interest in that are interested in me, which is a shame for everyone involved. I've been told that I might have set my standards a little too high, which could very possibly be true, but, then again, do I really want to be the kind of guy that just settles for anyone?

Scott Pilgrim Versus the World

_***½

Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera), a typical Canadian twenty-something, battles against the League of Evil Exes in order to win the heart of Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). Meanwhile, Knives Chau (Ellen Wong), Scott's ex-girlfriend, plots to win back her first love through any means possible.